Mixed feelings engulf me. Excited? Scared? What is it? Not really too sure. However, there comes a point in our life when we have to give away {willingly or with dragging feet} what we so much cherish for the sake of someone we love and appreciate, for the sake of God, to say the least, for the sake of a greater course. Even though it is for a greater course, yet we often find it very difficult to relinquish. For no one likes to leave his comfort zone. Thus, it requires a greater amount of sacrifice to accomplish.
What exactly is my point? I have come to understand that freedom is what everybody enjoys pretty well. People are ready to kill, to bribe their way through to secure their freedom. In fact, people are ready to do virtually anything to make sure they are free. When we are young, we hope to finish our primary education as soon as possible. When that is out of the way, we pray to go into Boarding school so as to be away from the constant watchful eyes of our parents. And if we are lucky enough, and with wealth on our parents side, we get our wish. This is the start of independent life- FREEDOM.
The freedom we enjoy at this stage of life is somewhat selfish. For we think just about ourselves if not all the time, but more often. Nothing else matters to us at this point. Everything is about 'US'. We spend pretty amount of our time making ourselves happy; living just for ourselves. It is a 'hic et nunc' form of freedom. We seem not to have anybody to account to, but to ourselves and God {for those who believe in God}. Hedonism often is the philosophy of most people at this stage. Just like Frederick Nietzsche who declared God dead, most people compose and are ready to read their eulogy for moral philosophy. Morality continues to plunge into extinction while moral decadence continues to be a norm. With the burial and funeral of ethics, comes abuse of freedom. Just imagine what the world would look like if hedonists had their way!!
Thanks to Scholars like Austin Fagothey. In his literature, Right and Reason: ethics in theory and practice,
he understands freedom differently. Freedom means responsibility. This is a freedom that has great respect and feeling not just for us, but for others. It is a more conservative form of freedom. It is considerate and future-orientated. It a form of freedom that helps us plan for the future, as it makes us more focused and responsible just as the name portrays. Suffice it to say that this is the freedom that ushers us into a more responsible existence. With this freedom in mind, one considers marriage as an option for life. It is accommodating, considerate and compromising.
What do we understand by this popular term, marriage? Simply put as generally conceived, it is the union of a man and a woman to become husband and wife. This, no doubt is unmistakably a general opinion. However, I have one issue with this conventional opinion. It has no mention of the real essence of marriage- freedom. Being in union with someone does not imply bondage or slavery. At the same time, it doesn't mean we can do whatever we want as though we are single. Hence, this informs my understanding of marriage. It is the coming together of a man and a woman to unite under one freedom as husband and wife. Just like two sovereign and independent nations that willingly abandon their respective sovereigns and independence in other to form one nation under one sovereignty and independence, a man and a woman willingly relinquish their respective freedom for a common good and freedom under one family. In other words, each person becomes responsible for the other, living ones life not just for oneself but for the other and the common good of the family.
The fruits of this kind of freedom (responsible freedom) are evidently obvious: understanding, love, joy, happiness, honesty, trust, forgiveness, good home, good health, long life among others. To say the least, without these fruits, marriage compares to burden, punishment, a curse or a bondage. It becomes an individual thing. However, marriage we know is an affair between two people working together as a team. To achieve a set goal, the team has to be strong, ready to withstand any challenge posed to it; be it financial, emotional, health, sexual, among others.
To conclude, marriage becomes a meaningful and worthwhile union if the two parties involved in the union use their freedom responsibly. Where one's freedom stops, another's starts. It is only in using freedom responsibly, that partners can UNDERSTAND and RESPECT each others feelings, desires, likes and dislikes. The promotion of TRUST is rife as a consequence; which will finally breed LOVE. This makes love the manifestation of good marriage rather than the basis of good marriage- Topic for another day.
What do we understand by this popular term, marriage? Simply put as generally conceived, it is the union of a man and a woman to become husband and wife. This, no doubt is unmistakably a general opinion. However, I have one issue with this conventional opinion. It has no mention of the real essence of marriage- freedom. Being in union with someone does not imply bondage or slavery. At the same time, it doesn't mean we can do whatever we want as though we are single. Hence, this informs my understanding of marriage. It is the coming together of a man and a woman to unite under one freedom as husband and wife. Just like two sovereign and independent nations that willingly abandon their respective sovereigns and independence in other to form one nation under one sovereignty and independence, a man and a woman willingly relinquish their respective freedom for a common good and freedom under one family. In other words, each person becomes responsible for the other, living ones life not just for oneself but for the other and the common good of the family.
The fruits of this kind of freedom (responsible freedom) are evidently obvious: understanding, love, joy, happiness, honesty, trust, forgiveness, good home, good health, long life among others. To say the least, without these fruits, marriage compares to burden, punishment, a curse or a bondage. It becomes an individual thing. However, marriage we know is an affair between two people working together as a team. To achieve a set goal, the team has to be strong, ready to withstand any challenge posed to it; be it financial, emotional, health, sexual, among others.
To conclude, marriage becomes a meaningful and worthwhile union if the two parties involved in the union use their freedom responsibly. Where one's freedom stops, another's starts. It is only in using freedom responsibly, that partners can UNDERSTAND and RESPECT each others feelings, desires, likes and dislikes. The promotion of TRUST is rife as a consequence; which will finally breed LOVE. This makes love the manifestation of good marriage rather than the basis of good marriage- Topic for another day.
